Whether it’s a snowboard, surfboard or skateboard, boards can rock your world in a way that the male species often can’t. Think of a happy place with no snoring, no late night drunken arguments or ex girlfriend crap… aaah bliss!

1. Boards don’t talk back.
Boards never argue never mind talk back. What you say goes and that’s the final answer.

2. Boards come with specific dimensions that don’t ‘increase’ horizontally with age.
The amazing thing about boards is that they suffer no mid life crisis, no winter bulge or lazy lifestyle. They stay within their dimensions through the good and the bad times.

3. Boards are happy to hang around quietly until you’re ready to use them.
No schedules, no compromises, no sulking. Boards perform when you want on your schedule and according to your routine. No questions asked.

4. Boards are ok with you having other boards.
Boards are naturally happy go lucky. There’s no stress or bore of monogamy. You can flirt and have other boards all the time. Your board understands his place among other boards.

5. Boards don’t leave the toilet seat up.
Nuff said.

6. Boards don’t leave their underwear lying around, hell they don’t even have underwear.
Ah, the happy day that your man actually learns the art of picking up after himself.

7. Boards make the best back seat drivers.
“You’re driving too fast. You’re driving too slow. Turn right here, I know a shortcut”. Sound familiar? Besides taking up a lil extra seating space you can drive in peace and harmony. How romantic.

8. Boards are usually confined to a restricted space in your home and don’t encroach on your wardrobe. A girl can never have enough wardrobe space. Here’s to living large with a drawer just for brassieres and a shelf just for strappy tops.

9. Boards don’t snore.
There’s nothing sexy about an avid snorer. No need to explain myself further.

10. Boards realise that when they don’t perform they will be sold.
Imagine if men actually realised that if they stuff up and do not perform to the highest standard they will be traded in or sold for a newer, edgier model.

Here’s to taking life by the balls and living life with your boards.

Tags: Boys