I’d like to introduce you to a South African word, that should be used the world over.

Kiff.

Now, this word should not be taken lightly. It should only be used when expressing a feeling of hard-core delight, like ‘Damn your tattoo is so kiff!’ Say it. Come on, say it out loud now, KIFF!

I use American words, UK words – hell I even bust out a few little Swedishisms and a bit of Zulu. Just thought it was time to spread a bit of SA love across the Interweb. Internet. Whatever. Kiff happens to be the only word that I would use to describe road trips. I don’t think there is one part of a road trip I don’t like. Well, except maybe trying to get red wine stains out of all your clothes, and sewing up the holes from climbing over fences to go swimming at midnight and stuff like that.

However, from experience, I’d like to hand over a couple of tips to make your road trip go along that much more smoothly, be it a skate, surf or snow trip.

1. Go the garage before you leave and check your tire pressure, oil, water and fill up with gas. I know it’s tempting just to shove off, but if you do that your wheels are guaranteed to fall off your car. It’s just the way it is.

2. Make sure you have a jack, a spanner and that the spare tire is not an old bust tire from a puncture before. Not much worse than lying on your back under the car in white track pants with all your mates laughing on the side of the road. No, no, no. If they laugh, you will be very happy to have the spanner so you can throw it at them.

3. Credit Card baby. I know credit cards are dangerous but it seriously helps to have one of those if somebody breaks their leg or has to buy a plane ticket because their pet poodle is seriously ill and they have to be there for the pooches last gasps.

4. Make the most responsible person ‘in charge’ of the passports and other important documents. I once went on an insane boat trip with mates, but on the way home the driver managed to lose her license in-between the car and the border post office. At least if someone is ‘in charge’ of the important stuff you have someone to be bummed with if things do go missing. Again, spanner will come in handy.

5. Get really good roof racks. Have you ever looked up into the rear-view mirror to see your boards bouncing down the road? ‘Tis not the nicest feeling in the world as your Kelly Slater fins grind down to half their height.

6. Multivitamins and headache pills. No one likes a sick grumbly friend, and no one likes people who drink all night and complain all day. Harden up and invest in the right stuff to make you feel better.

7. Do not skate through the streets of any foreign country with beers in your hand at night. More over, do not skate down the smooth marble ramp off the house of parliament or the last skater will have to look down the barrel of a gun and try explain in hand signals that it’s all for a laugh. Ha ha ha. In other words, do not do stupid shit unless you’re prepared to face the consequences – or better yet are an expert at running away very, very quickly.

8. Always pack extra socks, duct tape and a towel. You never know when you will need to shut someone up, or staunch a blood flow from gaping wounds in your limbs.

9. Cell Phone. They are a bind, we love to hate to love them, but they save lives. Like yours, because we all know if you don’t call your manfriend once a day they will kill you on your return.

10. Camera. Take one or more of these. There is nothing worse than coming home from a trip with no evidence whatsoever of the waves, the boys, the girls, the wounds, the tears, the rizla, the pile of empty bottles, and most of all the ridiculous amounts of smiles.

That’s my advice for road tripping. Take it or leave it. Yeehaw. Kiff.

Tags: Travel